Writing a Eulogy

A eulogy is a heartfelt tribute delivered during a funeral or memorial service, honouring the life and legacy of a deceased loved one.

Writing and delivering a eulogy is both an honour and a challenge. Whether you've been asked to give a eulogy or you wish to compile your own memories for a loved one, the following guide provides a comprehensive structure and helpful tips to assist you in crafting a meaningful and memorable eulogy.

How to Structure a Eulogy

A well-structured eulogy typically includes the following elements:

  1. Introduction

    • Start with a brief introduction, explaining your relationship to the deceased.
    • Offer a summary of what you plan to share, setting a respectful and positive tone.

  2. Birth and Early Life

    • Provide details about the deceased's birth: date and place of birth, parents, and siblings.
    • Share anecdotes from their childhood, including schooling, favourite pastimes, sports, hobbies, and memorable moments or stories.

  3. Career and Achievements

    • Discuss their employment history, highlighting occupations, accomplishments, awards, and any values they demonstrated in their work.

  4. Marriage and Family Life

    • Describe their marriage: when and where it took place, and any memorable stories about how the couple met.
    • Share significant family moments, including details about children, their spouses, and grandchildren.

  5. Character and Values

    • Reflect on the deceased's values, favourite sayings, and notable character traits.
    • Share life lessons they passed on and how they influenced others.

  6. Hobbies and Interests

    • Highlight their favourite pastimes, hobbies, or significant accomplishments outside of their professional life.

  7. Conclusion

    • Summarise the key points you've covered.
    • Share a final thought or memory, and express what the deceased meant to you and others.
    • Offer a closing remark, such as a quote, a poem, or a personal message.

Tips for Writing a Eulogy

  1. Start Early
    Begin drafting your eulogy as soon as possible. This gives you time to reflect and revise.
  2. Keep it Concise
    Aim for a length of about 5-10 minutes when spoken. Be succinct and focus on the most impactful stories and attributes.
  3. Balance Emotions
    While it's important to honour the deceased, don't shy away from including light-hearted or humorous moments if appropriate. This can provide comfort and a sense of connection for those listening.
  4. Personal Touch
    Use your own voice and style. Share personal anecdotes and memories that illustrate the deceased's personality and impact on your life.
  5. Practice
    Read your eulogy aloud several times. This helps you become comfortable with the material and allows you to adjust the flow and timing.
  6. Stay Authentic
    Speak from the heart. Authenticity resonates more deeply with listeners than perfectly crafted words.

Preparing to Deliver the Eulogy

  • Familiarise Yourself
    Know your speech well enough to deliver it naturally but feel free to have notes or the full text in front of you.
  • Manage Emotions
    It's normal to feel emotional. Take deep breaths and pause if needed. It's okay to show your emotions; it reflects your genuine connection to the deceased.
  • Engage with the Audience
    Make eye contact with the audience. This helps create a more intimate and shared experience.

If you are unable to present the eulogy our celebrant or director can read on your behalf.

Conclusion

The process of writing a eulogy begins with brainstorming and organising your thoughts about the deceased. Consider the following prompts to guide your writing:

  • Your favourite memory of them.
  • What made your relationship special.
  • Something they always said or were known to do.
  • What they were best known for in their community or among friends.
  • Positive information about them that not everyone might know.
  • What people loved most about them.
  • How you would describe them in your own words.

By following these guidelines and tips, you can create a heartfelt and respectful eulogy that honours the life and legacy of your loved one.